How to Thrive in a Relationship
Intimacy with another person can be challenging to navigate.
The internal emotions and thoughts that are usually concealed become observable to the other. The aspects of yourself that you’ve tucked away become visible. There’s no place to hide; they pick up on everything.
They catch subtle changes in your voice, the gaze in your eyes, the look on your face. They even pay attention to your eating and sleeping patterns. A good partner observes everything, driven by their inherent desire to help. This visibility can be both a boon and a bane.
You are thankful for being so comprehended and cherished. Yet, this depth of understanding and love can also lead to discomfort.
The other person serves as an important teacher, although they may not always be benevolent. They can become an irksome presence when you crave solitude, and frustratingly absent when you seek companionship. We cannot control them because, after all, they are not us.
So, how do we flourish alongside the ‘other’?
Firstly, we must redefine our understanding of relationships. While they provide comfort, love, and a sense of belonging, relationships are not a stagnation point. They are meant to stir discomfort sometimes, compelling us to confront our hidden self. The ‘other’ draws out our shadow self for examination and release, but also encourages us to shine when we’re overshadowed by gloom.
They are akin to a skilled surgeon, capable of reaching our hidden pain and latent potential. Such interventions may not always be welcomed or pleasant.
Love does not cease until it has eradicated all ignorance.
The challenge is, love operates through us, and we aren’t always the pure conduit that this higher form of love needs. Sometimes, what seems like assistance might feel like it’s worsening the situation. But remember, as they are ‘other’ to you, you are ‘other’ to them. The secret to being a good ‘other’ for each other lies in self-improvement.
Don’t be a closed book! Make it easier on your partner and open up. Share your love language.
If both parties aren’t engaged in their self-development, the equilibrium gets disrupted, leading to the potential collapse of the relationship.
Self-improvement encompasses many aspects, including humor, which often gets overlooked. Humor is necessary to prevent life with an ‘other’ from becoming overly solemn and burdensome.
Presence is another essential component. Every moment offers a chance at a new existence. Be gentle and firm with yourself and the other. Above all, maintain transparency so that love can perform its magic. This is the dance of equilibrium.
Life might be hard, but it’s never impossible. When you take a moment to observe, you’ll see the entire world is full of ‘others’.
Even in your solitude, remember you are not alone in your aloneness.